My children went to seven schools – here’s what it taught me about choosing one

My children, Trystan and Carolyn, went to seven different schools during their school careers. Each move followed my career. I was building a life in hospitality, and I learned early that moving up meant moving on.

Every move meant a new classroom, new teachers and new friends. Each time, my children had to find their feet again, and each time they lost a little ground while they did.

My wife paid too. Because we kept moving, she was never able to pursue her own career. That is a sacrifice I will never take for granted.

For years we could not afford private schooling. When we finally could, it came with sacrifices of its own. I drove a 1995 Toyota Camry, and made it look good, for far longer than I should have, because that was what it took to give Trystan and Carolyn the chance to chase their dreams.

Today, my son, Dr Trystan Nadasen, has completed his PhD, the first doctor in the history of our family, with research on food sustainability, a challenge that belongs not only to South Africa but to the world.

My daughter, Carolyn, is finishing hers, researching snake venom and coagulation in breast cancer patients. Her work brings her face to face with those patients every week, and I am humbled by her strength.

Looking back, what I would change is not what we spent but how many times we asked them to start again.

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Why this matters now

Every family I speak to is feeling the squeeze: interest rates, fuel, food, electricity. School fees are often the biggest line in the household budget, and many parents are weighing up whether their child should move.

These are real pressures, and only a family can decide what is right for them. What I can offer is what my own family taught me about the questions to ask first, whichever school parents are considering and whatever it charges.

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What success actually looks like

Success at school isn’t one exam result. It is built in stages.

It starts early. Many parents first hand their child to a school at the age of one, and that is where the building blocks go in: language, curiosity, confidence and the habit of learning. Everything up to Grade 12 is built on them.

It continues through the foundation phase, where gaps in literacy and numeracy are easiest to close and hardest to ignore.

And it comes together in the final years, through the right subject choices, consistent strong teaching, guidance on university applications in South Africa and abroad, and the independence and study habits a young person needs once they get there.

For me, success is a child reaching the end of Grade 12 with options open and the confidence to take them.

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Continuity is underrated

Seven schools taught me that every move has a cost, and the child carries most of it. Children are resilient, and mine were. But resilience gets drawn on each time a child starts again, with teachers who don’t yet know them and friends they haven’t yet made.

A school that knows a child over many years notices when something changes: a dip in confidence, a friendship that has gone wrong, a subject that has stopped clicking. That kind of knowledge takes time to build, and it is lost with every move.

Families sometimes see a move as temporary, with a plan to return when things improve. It is worth knowing before leaving whether there would be a place to come back to, as established schools fill up, particularly in the later grades.

A child who does return can find the pace and content have moved on without them, and confidence can suffer while they catch up. A return also means a child starting again twice.

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I often hear parents say their child is happy at a new school, and I’m always glad when they are. Happiness matters, and it is the right place for the question to start, but not where it should end. Alongside it, I’d ask whether a child is being stretched, known and supported.

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The economy will turn – childhood won’t wait

Interest rates will fall and budgets will recover. Childhood does not come round again. A child gets one set of early years, one foundation phase and one shot at the final school years.

Gaps in literacy, numeracy, study habits or confidence stay with them, and nobody repeats Grade 4 when the economy improves.

Decisions made in a downturn are ones children live with long after it has passed.

Look for evidence, not promises

Before education, I spent many years in hospitality, including as chairperson of the Tourism Grading Council of South Africa. Grading taught me that a star rating isn’t decoration. It is evidence that standards have been tested, met and kept up over time.

Schools should be no different. Every school, at every fee level, should be able to show parents the evidence behind its promises. While a lower fee may ease a household budget, on its own it says little about the outcomes a child can expect. The same is true of a higher one.

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A tour, a brochure or a social media post shows a promise. Results, university placements, independently checked safeguarding, teachers who stay and a long record of families who stay too show whether that promise is kept.

Questions worth asking any school

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The questions I would ask apply as much to the school a child attends now as to any a parent might be considering. Start with how well the school will know a child, and who will notice if something changes.

Ask how long teachers typically stay and how settled the leadership is, what the class sizes are, and what learning support is there if a child needs it.

Look ahead to the final years, too. Which subject choices are offered in Grades 10 to 12, how does the school guide students towards university in South Africa and abroad, and what do the last five years of results and university placements show?

Ask which sports, cultural and performance opportunities children actually take part in, and how safeguarding standards are checked, and by whom.

Ask what the fee actually pays for, how fees have moved over the past few years and how they are expected to move, and whether the school has the financial strength to keep investing in teaching and facilities in difficult years as well as good ones.

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When families are considering a move, they should ask themselves what their child would be leaving behind, and whether there would be a place to come back to. The answers may support a move, but they may also show that what a child already has is worth far more than it first appears.

The sacrifice behind every decision

Many parents I meet never had the opportunities they are now giving their children. They work longer hours and put their own plans aside so their children can start with more.

That sacrifice deserves a decision made on evidence, with time to weigh it up. A tough year shouldn’t undo it. Budgets can be rebuilt. A child’s foundation is laid only once.

Ravi Nadasen is chief executive officer of Inspired Africa, which operates the Reddam House and Reddford House schools in South Africa. 

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